Tuesday, December 19, 2006



All my roses have gone to bed for the winter. They no longer produce for me the lovely velvet petaled blooms. They no longer give their fragrance. Too bad. I enjoyed the blossoms.

Now I see the dead stumps I've yet to trim back for the winter. But will get to them this weekend. The thorns attached to the stems will not bother me for now. I have no reason to pick anymore roses.

I've decided to consult a specialist in roses. One who can tell me what to do about producing better varieties next year. One that can tell me how to prepare my soil and eliminate the varmits that serve to keep me from enjoying the beauty of the truest most beautiful roses. I found a blight in my variety.

I love all colors and had thought about getting a black rose. But I've already had one of those and am never going to get another. They give less beauty than one would think---even though they are different. So I shall stick to common varieties that flourish and enjoy the world I'm in without threatening to take over the rest of my garden.

And while the specialists do their job, I'll do mine. I will breathe rose-free air till Spring. There's alot to be done. That is what must occur in order to get those roses without thorns. And with the Rose of Sharon, there is no thorns either. He produces the best without the thorns. And I am grateful for His space in my garden. I pray He lives in yours. selahV

Monday, December 18, 2006


I don't know about you, but I know a lot of people who don't get paid what they are worth.
Throughout my life, each job I held paid far below the amount most folks paid for the same position. But somehow, I survived.; God provided. And looking back I find that each and every job was preparing me for the next phase of my life. For that, there is no compensation.

As I watch people suffer around me, in a far worse situation than myself, I am reminded how truly blessed I am.
But on top of that, I am reminded that those who cause the sufferings, fears, injustice and pain for others will most certainly get their reward for their actions. The Lord says in His Word, that the wages of sin is death.

This sin may not bring death physically. But sin severs relationships. Sin destroys lives. Sin robs people of joy, peace and happiness. And sin will pay out what is due on pay day. Only God determines that moment. There is no doubt our sins will be found out. Even if we think we have hidden them well, they will be brought into the Light.

When Light penetrates darkness, what is unseen in the dark, is seen in the Light. While I don't want to see anyone punished, I don't want the unjust to go unpunished. I am grateful our Savior provides a way for us. I am grateful that Jesus can be better trusted to pay in full what I rightfully should pay and reward me for what little I may be due according to His riches in glory. Until then, I know who I can trust and most certainly who I cannot. Has something to do with discernment, I think.

In blogland, we face many many perils. Internet is both good and unfortunately very bad. There are those who lurk in the shadows of our typed letters and think their tracks are covered. They are not. They think no one is listening. They are wrong. They think no one is watching and no one will discover their evildoings. Some may feel they are righteous in their actions for some way they have been wronged. But that is a LIE. And when we buy into that logic, we are as bad as the evil one who we battle. Not in flesh and blood, but in realms, powers of darkness, and with principalities we cannot see.

The amazing thing is how God's voice thunders His warnings in the wee small hours of the morning. In the stillness of the night. In a whisper that will wake the dead. And when that voice speaks, His sheep know His voice and respond in obedience.

God is ever-present. Ever-watching. He neither slumbers, nor sleeps. He will protect and He will provide. And He will always, always pay just wages in every situation. And that is why I can sleep.

Sunday, December 17, 2006


Hi there! You may notice I have changed my profile picture. That's because a friend suggested I put up a picture which more closely matched what I am and what I look like. My other picture was deceiving. It was taken when I was younger. (I won't tell how much.) So in order to present a more truthful persona: "HEEEERRE'S SelahV!"

I have a dear friend who just had a facelift. Everyone's saying she looks wonderful. Not fair. I'm younger than her. Now she looks younger than me! LOL. So, since I can't afford a facelift, I decided on a nose-job! What say ye?

FOLLOW UP: I didn't get exactly what I wanted for Christmas the other day. But, my husband didn't have to dig a hole for a mailbox either. He bought one of those new-fangled jobs you pound in the ground and insert the post. KEWL thing! Love the advancement of man. And the good news is that I get to hint for another 6 days. Yep; he shops on Christmas Eve. Cracks me up. That's a man-thing! Well, not really. I think it is a gene-thing. Cause my daughter does that, too. She got it from her dad.

All this brings me back to the title of my blog today. "I AM WHO I AM." That is all I can be. God made me the way I am. Sorta. He wants me to reflect him in all I do and say. And this goofy face is not to be construed as a reflection of God in any way shape or form. But it does tell us that He loves us just as we are. And He will change us into the likeness of His Son...in His time, as He sees fit, the way He sees fit. And for now, He thinks I'm a hoot! [copyrighted, selahV, 2006]

Wednesday, December 06, 2006



It's hard to be a man in a man's world. Men have different ways of dealing with each other...conversing. Even their analogies are different than women's. They are born to battle. To compete. To win.

They think differently, too. When I ask my husband a question, he almost invariably answers with a question. I find myself actually answering his question and never really getting an answer to mine. We laugh about it alot. Sometimes I say, "Can I ask you a question?" He replies, "Why, what do you need?" Lately, I start with, "Honey, I want to ask you a question, but when I do, I want you to answer the question with a yes or a no." He replies, "Why?" I begin laughing and he begins laughing and we know that it is because of the "trap syndrome".

All men have it. (Maybe I shouldn't say all, but from all the ladies I talk to? Most men have it.) They think anytime a woman asks a man a question that they are setting a trap. They think we are baiting them; that the first question is going to lead to a second. That the second leading to a "Gotcha!" It may stem from Eve giving the fruit to Adam and telling him to eat. After that, man could never trust a woman again, I guess.

This makes it really hard to communicate in a man's world unless one becomes like a man. Well, I've tried that too, but I don't like it. I don't like answering questions with questions. What if you ask the wrong question? Will you ever get the answer to your first question? It seems if one is to be part of a man's world, one must think like a man. But then we have another problem. Ego.

Men have bigger egos than women. They have a different kind of pride. We women have no pride. We get lost; we stop and ask for directions. We get sick; we go see a doctor. Our pride is in communicating effectively, nurturing effectively, and feeling right about what we feel right about. A man's pride often is in communicating to win a debate, avoid a debate, accelerate a debate or confirm they are correct in a debate. I might be wrong here. Just a woman's observations, ya see?

Anyway, most of my understanding stems from experience in trying to communicate with one of the most humble men on this earth for over four decades. It includes trying to win the approval or at least one word or phrase of approval from the highest authority of man given me before my husband--my dad. It includes surviving as the only girl among two elder biological brothers, one elder stepbrother, and one younger stepbrother. It includes multiple relationships with male step-cousins who inhabited the same house as I lived in for the majority of my teenage years. I also had the honor to raise a little boy through every stage of his life and watch him grow into one of the most loving, nurturing, boy/men I'll ever know.

So, I do have a bit of experience with communicating with boys, men and also, the inescapable inability to communicate on multiple occasions. I've also been afforded the grand prize of watching my stepmother's total failure at communicating anything she felt important. (Which after a spell, she felt nothing she had to offer was worthy of communicating, so she settled in to her sewing bench and used up millions of miles of thread to communicate with material.)

In this world dominated by men, and now infiltrated by women, I'm afraid some of us, who have timidly or boldly dared to venture beyond our sewing benches, are still talking with boys instead of men. This is the dilemma we ladies find ourselves in when trying to exist in the world in which some misguidedly say we are equal. Therefore we communicate as mothers to the boys, daughters to our husbands, and sisters to most of the men--and women only to women.

Describing the relationship a sister has with brothers provides more examples than this one blog could endure. Suffice it to say, I was forced to play centerfield without the benefit of a glove, pushed into more closets during games of hide-and-seek and left for hours so they could do what boys do--be boys. And lately, while I am finally beginning to meet some "real" men whose egos are firmly rooted in the security of their Father's Word, I'm also struggling to see my way out of this darn dark closet. And only a woman could relate to what junk is stored in here.
[copyrighted, selahV,2006]